Re-miss-ing

The holidays always seem to be a time for reflection for me. I time to take a second and look at the life that I have and how I am living it.


This morning while driving into the paycheck, I was idling behind a classy 80's model Mazda. Only to notice that the spirited couple in the front seats were having a slight disagreement. Well, drama in public demands my attention and the closer I looked the more I noticed the lack of teeth and hygiene this romantic couple had. I was immediately brought back to my years in the OK and decided I definitely had a few things on my list of " I miss" from my time there. Enjoying a 24/7 WT show is definitely on this list.

Also this morning the sister-in-law and I were talking about what we should do for Christmas this year. The "I miss" from this one is being the child behind the scenes, enjoying the festivities and wrapping paper. Being the one organizing, inviting and thinking isn't as fun. I miss the youthful innocents of the holidays. The times of just being SO excited to see the entire family, waking up early because you cant sleep and helping the adults in the kitchen.


and lastly...

Lastly I have been working on my inner-adult. I have gotten by with 24 years of not knowing/caring what a credit score is. Let alone trying to figure out what mine is and how I can improve it. Lucky for me I work with pushy adults that care about me enough to ignore my protests of facing reality. "I miss" ignorance.

While I realize that NO ONE reads/follows my blogs, I also have come to realize that you have to take life in strides.

Its hard not to get caught up in the hub-bub of what other people are doing and not compare it to your own life. Like an amazingly-talented friend of mine that just landed a great job, and when she told me about it she told me she heard a dirty rumor that "Big Kid" job # 2 is all the rage. Wonderful for her, whom just so happens to be on # 2. Super earth shattering for still on #1 Chelsea. However in this situation she deserves that fantastic job so I can calm the green monster of jealousy.

At what point in your life do you decide to make it you own? To literally take a deep breath, figure out what brings you happiness and run with it. Everyone has their path written for them to a certain point. School, big kid school, big kid job.......then.... People discover their own paths starting here. Not that what comes next is the beginning to an end, but at this point you are free get creative (or not). Meeting the love of your life, multiplying into little you and them's, focusing on just your career, begging a bank to give you enough money to buy that house that you can make your own...or not.

I'm there. I'm at the point of creativity. But I am unsure that I need to make any drastic changes at this moment. I have a job...always an area that can be improved. I am healthy (for the most part). I am in a mushy-gushy relationship that still gives me butterflies. I have a strong support system of friends and family. Is living in the moment and breathing in bliss-making life your own?

Why do I have to live by a book and do what expected? Wouldn't it be amazing if everyday you got to choose what you would do. (I understand that in some ways you do, like where you work & who you see). But I mean like you wake up and you decide..."Hmm maybe Ill fly to Paris and visit Mr. Eiffel today, followed by a quick jump in the Atlantic and a romantic dinner in Greece." Grand scale, yes I realize, but wow just the thought.

Making your life, your life might seem simple. But I don't believe you can begin to do that until you grasp your sense of self. Impossible thought at 24, 11 months and 1 day if I do say so myself.

Creating your canvas

At what point in life do you stop evolving and settle into who you are? Is there a day that you just stop growing and changing and have become who you will always be?

The simple answer that most people will say is, " You never stop changing and growing".

Well yes, I realize that my hatred of meatloaf might one day turn into a pure obsession. However I don't think this shapes me. They say that your brain grows the most in the first few months of life. But when does it stop?

I am sure there is a mathematical study backing this up, but I am just over thinking life and not interested in what a study shoves in my face today.

My personal opinion is this, while you are forever changing your core values never will. These are embedded in your heart and soul and will rarely change. However I think that people can will themselves to change or change because they have a mammoth sized change in their life.

For example: I am an outgoing, opinionated person. I am working on holding my tongue more often- i.e......willing myself to change.

Right now, as I type my BFF/mother is on a road trip solo (excluding her Chihuahua Gracie May). Although I hate the thought of her driving up the coast of Oregon by herself, I gotta say, she is pretty ballsy. The strength and courage it takes to not only go alone, but to sit alone in a car with your thoughts.EEK I would be tired of myself when I got 100 miles down the road. Not to mention bored of my IPOD and ready for someone to chit-chat with.

I think this is her "willing change" in her life. She is exploring her options when it comes to starting a new life and taking a different path. But in order to discover what she wants in life now, she must first find who she is. Scary at any age.


When your in a relationship my theory totally backfires. With friends or a "partner" you have to accept them for them. You cannot "Will change" on someone else, they must be steady on their own two feet before they choose to hold your hand for support.

A never ending process it might be....but you must start with a canvas and let life help you create the art that is yourself. My piece of art is left unchanged for long periods of time, but when it evolves, its drastic and beautiful if I might say so myself :)

UpDaTe!

Changes!

A few months ago I would have told you that big changes were in my future...in fact I believe I did. So they have begun. Let me just tell you, the old saying " Nothing ever turns out how you expect it" is true beyond words.

- Minor change but one still the same- My work office moved, newer building complete with more space for Chelsea's crap and a window for her to loose focus out of ! YIPPEE!

- Another change...that is in slow progression. My mom has finally taken the first step in selling her house of 25+ years. SO proud of her, SO once again while living out of boxes and in many locations I had to move those boxes that hold my "house" to another location. YUCK so over moving. However it will be worth it when my mom is having well earned her fresh start.

- Lastly and MOST IMPORTANT! My nephew Mr. Tyler David Kenney was born on August 2nd, 2011 at 11:30ish pm. He decided that he couldn't wait another minute to meet me (OK OK not just me, his wonderful parents too). Apparently he has ADD like his daddy and came 8 days early! All of us hadn't really set into "baby watch" yet since we thought our little guy (little at 6.10lbs) was going to make us wait longer then his due date....either way, HE IS THE CUTEST BABY ON THE PLANET AND THEY MAKE ONE HECK OF A GOOD LOOKIN FAMILY!

So changes are still in progress but boy are they exciting! Embracing change has been a huge pill to swallow in the past, but I think I am getting better at it. One good outcome at a time :)

Teeny Tiny Baby Steps...

My last post stated that I was frustrated with my current motionless life. Everything was at a standstill and I was beginning to get the claustrophobic bug.

To report on progress...a slow moving advance in both the professional and personal life of Chelsea has begun. Instead of having no goal, I have decided to start studying for the GRE. However to my disappointment I learned that for the first time in 20 something years they have changed the Grad School Exam. Wonderful. To make matters worse I will be taking the math part without multiple choice options and will answer just from my knowledge....well there is always a chance Ill do good in the English part!

So I am not saying that Grad School starts in the fall and I am sharpening my #2's. I am just getting prepared. I know that getting my Masters is in my future. However I have ZERO clue what it will be in.

J. Has been being studious and will be starting Paramedic class in September. SO while he shoves his face in a book and attempts to teach me about the human body I might as well bore him with some vocabulary words of my own!

Speaking of J. he is off fighting another fire...this one in New Mexico. I will admit that it is hard for me to see him leave and have no clue when he is coming back. However I know he is learning so much and having a blast. That's all that matters. Right?

Our office is moving...I will have a bigger office and a ...wait for it......WINDOW! HECK YES! So excited! So even though my news isn't anything to write home about....it is something and sometimes that's all you need to get you through the day!

A claustrophobic life.

Once again my need to constantly be working on a goal has risen up to haunt me.

I am fully aware that my job requires me to have many goals and milestones. However regardless at the end of the day I am still working here and doing what I do. The rewards are to far fetched and the successes are "Feel Good" but not completly satisfying. I know I am making a difference in the big picture. I know that my hours at work does actually paid off and its because of my hard work that we have raised so much in the fight against cancer. Shouldn't that be enough? I am not working for a promotion because there is no where to go. I am not looking for a raise because those don't exist in today's world. What now?

I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. However in my life it would be stuck between Student Loans and Bills. I work all the time and I still dread paycheck day. Shouldn't pay day be a good day? For me it means that before my day is over my bills will be automatically deducted and I will once again be broke. What happened to the day of taking out the loans to live on in college and go shopping for "Going Out" clothes? Oh that's right-- they abandoned me, along with sleeping until noon and dreaming of being a "Big Kid" with less money troubles. Geez was I naive.

Living with my mother- although easy and cheap, not so fun. Its not very easy to mold back into someone elses home when you have had a taste of building your own. Her ideas of cleaning, organizing and decorating are not in sync with mine. Not to mention no matter how hard I try to get Avery Jo to eat his own- Healthy.Expensive.Organic food he still would rather shove the other dogs "Mystery" dog food down his--used to be smaller-- body.

Wikipedia describes being Claustrophobic as, "the fear of having no escape and being closed in small spaces or rooms.Also--Fear of restriction and suffocation". Hmm Yes I think this pretty much describes my current state. I need a new goal...something that is low cost and high in satisfaction. When you find it let me know...hopefully by then I wont have resorted to knitting or hording cats!

Big Ideas for something sweet!

This last weekend my "little" cousin graduated from High School. In my attempts to be overly domestic I chose to make homemade cupcakes and frosting for her graduation party. I found inspiration from the trendy Cupcake shop in Lake Havasu, AZ that likes to add to my daily calorie intake on visits. SO with big intentions of the perfect modern cupcake I chose, butter cream frosting in different colors.

My first hurdle with this was realizing that I did not just want blue cupcakes- her school color. However my selection at the local Walmart was not cooperating with my color scheme. "Sky Blue" and "Orange" would do.

Second hurdle.... I decided to make the frosting the day before her party. I was looking like a Martha Stewart clone with my powder sugar all over the counter and frosting in my hair. Per the directions I was to cover tightly and refrigerate until using. Done. However I dont think the recipe called for my kitchen to be 90 + degrees the next day while frosting. My impatience grew while waiting for the frosting to hit room temperature and only decreased when I attempted to frost with professional abilities- one cupcake at a time. Besides me cursing at my mother every time she walked in the kitchen to offer her advice. I was handling this speed bump with grace.

Third hurdle... The writing.... I decided to be simple and modern with just a decedent "C" on each cupcake. Little did I know that the writing gel had a personal vendetta against me and wasn't going to cooperate.

Lastly... Like I said 90+ degrees (small exaggeration) allowed for the frosting to melt...into each other, the plate, the hands of everyone who ate them etc.

However I have to say...although a tad on the sweet side, I liked em!

Although this seems to be a pattern with me - big ideas for crafts that don't turn out how I picture it. I will continue to force myself to be as domestic as possible in the kitchen. After all...practice makes perfect, Right?

A day of lazyness

So much going on, so much to do, and instead of taking my day off to be productive in my personal life, I am choosing to do the opposite through Netflix, Hulu and the Internet.

I must admit that I did set my alarm this morning, but once again I did not have a choice- the corollas legal status was expired and I had to take the time I did have to waste a few hours at the MVD of Flagstaff.

Responsibility aside, I am now snuggled into my comfy bed with Av Joe and Joe ( my adopted son/J's dog). With my recent Netflix show addiction playing episodes on repeat- "The Gates" will be keeping me entertained in drama. The perfect stressed life remedy, unrealistic vampire-werewolf issues that do not relate to my life.

Besides the crazy wind outside that is keeping the love of my life a few hours away saving lives and fighting a fire, its a relaxing day. Yes I would rather him be being lazy with me instead of inhaling smoke and battling hundreds of acres of life threatening flames. However I know he is also getting his adrenaline rush of keeping busy and doing what he loves. See? I can be reasonable!

My relaxing day will be spoiled when I wake up tomorrow and have to rush into work and then drive to another community and work even harder. But today I refuse to think of it and am planning on ignoring all work related calls....wish me luck.

In the last 369 days.

A year and 4 days ago I received a phone call that put me on the floor and caused me to tell my boss through mascara covered tears, I needed to go home for the rest of the day.

Its amazing how when someone leaves your family the whole world shakes. For the next few days after hearing the devastating news you go through a series of emotions. On this particular day I went from a tragic sob, to pure anger within 20 minutes. Followed by pity and sadness that lasted until I had no more tears to cry. However thanks to my personality of being the faced-strong one in my family I had to pull my shit together and be there for my mom, again.

I think about it now, and although I will miss my uncle Twain and I wish he was still here with us. Most of my emotions had to do with the after effect this was going to have on my already "hanging by a thread" family. We couldn't prepare for this one, this one wasn't one that we had months to say our goodbyes and handle. This was spur of the moment and over before we knew it. It was a year ago last Friday, feels like yesterday.

This last year has changed me more then any year in my life has. It was one for the books, good and bad. After this devastating news I uprooted to be near my family, again. It felt ridicules to be so far away when they were dropping like flies in already small herd of people. I learned that your wants and needs change as you get older, seems simple. It isnt.

Although on most days I want to strangle my mother, with words of course, I cant imagine not being close to her now. Even though Flagstaff, AZ is not my forever city, it is the place that needs me, and I need it for the time being. And even though this job drains me of energy, I have a reason to come to work everyday, because no matter who drives me crazy, I AM making a difference in the world.

Finding a great start to a career path, stumbling into the love of my life at "Target" and being forced to handle the stages of grief for the 2nd time in two years, and expecting my first nephew in August....that can change a girl. But even though I would rather have my missing family at our bad-excuse-for-a-Christmas's, I am glad things have happened to force change.

Like I said, this has been a life changing year. Its been full of the "who woulda thought"'s and tears of pure happiness and sadness. But with age comes wisdom to recognize the things that matter and the things that will not shape you. Learning to distinguish the two is a lesson that I will continue to learn, indefinitely.

A "trending" life

Life is full of in's and out's. If you really think about it everything in your life has its trendy-time . Whether its a current obsession, a clothing trend, friends, jobs, money. Everything has a shelf life, however its the things that matter that are restocked because of their value and worth.


Lets start with the first one, current obsession. I have had times when I am OBSESSED with Apple Juice for a few months and drink it like water and then I get sick of it and move on. I have times in my life where I eat healthy and want to be active all the time (yes this is few and far between), I have those weeks where there is nothing in the world that can keep me out of my bed and comfy clothes, and others that I am itching to get out of my own skin and DO SOMETHING.

The piece of fabric that I put on my body is half style half love. I will be the first one to admit either I can take it to far or I am wearing something that went out of style in 2002. Doesnt matter to me. However a clothing style has its "in's and out's" something in the 80's can come back in like the old fashion Ray Bans, or neon colors. Eventually it will be "lame" again and bell bottoms and large hippy flowers will be forced on us through Cosmo and Vogue magazines.

Friends, as harsh as it sounds, there are friends that have their shelf life, and some that dont. There are your friends that you meet in a class, at work, in your yoga class. They might know your day-to-day life for their 6 months of daily interaction, but they drop like flies when its over. Then there are the people in your life that come in and out as they please, or you please. For this blogs sake I will call them, "convenience" friends. The friend that calls with fake interest on a Friday night and just so happens to slip, " know of anything going on tonight", into the conversation. The convinance friend is also great for needing things and never giving things. Yes they might call you crying to handle their problems, however their busy life can never seem to handle your problems. Lastly are the best kind, the first bite of something delish friend. Forever friends, these are the ones that know you "in and out", the ones that call you on your issues and still accept you. The one that will drop their life to handle your "I cut my hair to short" sobbing phone calls. These are the friends that you work to stay in touch with and work to value, because without them, something is missing.

Jobs is easy. Something that your life revolves around and when you have received everything out of it you can, you move on. This is a one sided relationship. But im ok with that.

Money is also easy, sometimes you have it (in) and sometimes you dont (out). Spend it and its gone, work for it and its there.

No matter what its learning what things can be restocked to be used again, and the ones that can be thrown away and just hold memories. I for one am ok with staying away from Apple Juice for a while but would be lost without my forever friends and big sunglasses :)

My fortune Cookie

On a well-attempted dinner date with J. my fortune cookie told me something close to, "There will big and happy changes in your future". Of course, I had the intentions of keeping this slim/cheap slip of paper and posting it somewhere to give me motivation on a dreary day. It got as far as being cleaned out of my purse, and I think it might have ended up in the trash bin- by accident of course.

However I have just received another fortune cookie, this one states " Even the longest of days will come to an end" Hmmm. It seems the Chinese gods are playing tricks with me.

So let me get this strait corporate china- I will have good changes but the days will be long and end eventually? Thanks. Sounds close to the old "If you work hard you will be rewarded". Thanks but I already knew this tid-bit of information. But I do appreciate you telling me that my lucky numbers are 28,13,19,56,10, and 23. Pretty sure that differs from the last cookie, but whatevs.

Those of you who are questioning my Chinese food intake, this has been a rare occasion of 2 meals in a week. So quit your judging.

The first cookie is the one I believe I will take to heart since it seems close to true. In a few short months my first nephew, Tyler David Kenney will be born. To say I am excited does not describe me accurately. Besides from the purchase of every "My aunt loves me" Onesey/bib/shirt (girls clothes not excluded). And the mention of him at every baby conversation I fit it into too, I am pretty normal. EEEKKK Ok I am not, I CANNOT wait to meet him!!

There are changes that will go unmentioned however, it is also my busy season at work. Working 60 + hours at work might be ok for those who see an hourly wage on their paycheck. But for those of us who went to college to end up in debt, "Salary" doesn't look so good when you are driving on the highway at 11:30pm.

I hope my next cookie tells me "You will be rich in a matter of days, eventually end up with a gorgeous happy family and life will be easy."

Im sure thats what it will say.....

Attempting the practice of POSITIVE thinking....

I have noticed that at times I can seem negative...like the majority of my time I focus on what can go wrong. I believe this is partly true...

In my head both the positive and negative are present. They both voice their opinions and are over thought in detail. However, the negative slips out of my mouth for multiple reasons which are not always to be the pessimistic person in the room. I believe these are voiced more often so I can be reassured the negative will not happen.Which is selfish. Also, because if I am aware of all the things that can go wrong, I will not be disappointed when they do.

In no way is this "healthy" and a correct way of thinking, I am aware of that.

That being said I have decided that today I will do a "What I do not like" and "What I love" list in their simplest form. Guess who gets to read it?

To start with the negative and end on a positive note....

What I do not like

Slow technology on a hectic day

Slow days

Large amounts of snow when I have places to go

Peas

Black Licorice

Socks with sandals

Dis-loyalty

Waiting until the last minute

People playing with my toes

3. Certain words

Close minded-ness

Small spaces

Meatloaf

Wearing an outfit I do not feel comfortable in

Changing plans

Putting Laundry away

Forced conversation

WHAT I LOVE

Holding hands

Inspirational moments

A new journal

Homemade gifts

Chocolate

Comfy beds

Things that make me think

Walks in deep thought

Personal meaning

Randomness

Obscene laughter

Big Sunglasses

Kissing

Travel

Memories

Attempting to master the kitchen

Mascara

Talking about the ones I love

Organizing

Someone "tickling" my back

Movies

Two-stepping

Wearing something that makes me feel beautiful

Big hair

Finding security and comfort in a pet

"Just thinking of you"'s

Inside jokes

Reaching a goal

Being so busy I'm stressed

My mom

Someone playing with my hair

....See even in that random 5 minutes I proved that I think more positive...I just need to work on portraying it more.

What do you love?

Thank you mom and dad...

Now that you have read the title of this blog let me assure you, this is completely sarcastic.

Although I am thankful for the things that I am about to complain about, it doesn't mean they couldn't have thrown me up a yield sign every now and then.

Thank you mom and dad....

Without you I wouldn't have made it to college. Not like the option to do anything else after high school was ever there. But never the less my appreciation for the constant drilling of "must receive your education" is still solid. Not only did I attend college I managed to move out of state to do so. helping increase the semesterly bursar bill that haunted me until paid but also allowing me to have no other option but to work and attend school full time. (Ya ya ya....this instilled a good work ethic and responsibility). However I would have been just fine working a few nights and increasing my under/over age alcohol intake. Not saying that I didnt find my time to partake in the traditional Connors backroading or Stillwater "Strip". But the college experience could have been prolonged with skipped classes, sleeping in and the occasional all nighter. Instead the big kid in me was screaming, " get out, MAKE MONEY". Right. So thank you mom and dad for the support and encouragement to end my lazy undergraduate career in 3 1/2years.

Thank you mom and dad for always treating me like the mature child that can handle responsibility. Because of the constant after school activity, jobs and organizations I have been shoved into since the age of 5, I am now unable to be content in life unless I am stressed to the point of breakdown. If the OCD in me doesn't have her "To-Do" list and full calender I cant seem to break a smile. But thank goodness I was able to juggle 4-H, FFA, 2 jobs, clubs in school, friends, family, and worrying about my future. Without that, I might be able to function on a minimal level....who wants relaxation anyway?

Not to be dramatic but the divorce at the age of 14 helped me in my future relationships. So thank you for instilling in me the constant over analyzing of such relationships with friends or possible heart breakers. I am now able to consider the option of insecurity and vulnerability. Not only does this set these "commitments" up for possible failure but it makes sure that I think every detail needs to be spoken outloud and accompanied by mascara covered Kleenex. Gracias.

Also. Thank you mom and dad for allowing me to have things I wanted without the spoiling aspect. Because of your strong will, I am now able to not only sometimes make purchases but also want to make more. Having the knowledge of nice things, style and comfort not only makes me want to have those things but it can bring out the irresponsible debit card complete with its "consequences later" pin number.

I honestly do appreciate the embossed pieces of paper that are currently hanging in my office.Which are at the job that shuts out the possibility of seeing my boyfriend more then once a week. However spending more then half the paycheck from this job on the 3 1/2 years of "hard work in school" makes it difficult to convey my deep appreciation for the values you instilled in me.

So thank you for making me a hard-working,over-thinking,stressed mess of a 24 year old. I really do appreciate it.

Wish You Well

I am having a day of remembrance. I am not sad or depressed rather, I am cherishing moments. This felt like something to share since the following song, currently plays in my office and my lack of motivation for work has me blogging.....:)

A few months before my favorite aunt in the world lost her battle to cancer, a good family friend took my mom and I for a drive down to Sedona, AZ. If you have driven the windy roads down the switchbacks, you know how beautiful and relaxing this can be. It had been a long few months and mom and I were exhausted and blue with the inner struggles of what was ahead of us. Our friend has always been our "door" to amazing new music and she had a song she wanted us to hear. Before she pressed play she warned my mom, "You are going to cry, Christine, but just listen".

Braced for holding back tears, to keep up the appearance of my strength....I closed my eyes and proceeded to hear this through the backseat speakers.

I, I want to wish you well

I didn’t watch you go

Cause I suppose I don’t know how

I, I will remember you

Not the way you left but how you lived

And what you knew

I, I want to feel your hands

I want to feel your fire burning

Right from where I stand

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how
I, I want to know it’s you

When I hear your voice inside my head

Inside my room

I, want to touch the sky

I want to see the stars twinkle

Like they were your eyes

I’ll find my way

You showed me

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how

I, I want to smell your scent

I want to breathe the air I did before

Before you left

I, I want to wish you well

The only reason my heart beats

Is cause you showed it how

I’ll find my way

You show me

I’ll find my way

You show me

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how

You show me how

You showed me how

By: Katie Herzig

Some people might find this depressing, however every time I listen to it, it reminds me of how much of a support system she was for me. When we spent hours together at chemo or doctors appointments, she never failed to embaress me, by telling everyone who would listen, "This is my neice, she just graduated college with her bacholers, and she did it in 3 1/2 years." At the time my red face showed how that made me feel. Now it makes me smile and reminds me how you never appreciate the small things, until you no longer have them.

Her way of looking at life wasn't exactly a mirror image of mine. However she never failed to comfort me and pick me up when life wasn't perfect.

She had the luck of constantly receiving "Tomato Ends" in her food. Literally. However when something happened that pissed her off, she would call it a "Tomato End".

So latley...I have been having a lot of Tomato End luck at work. Not necessarly my fault but small things that pile onto eachother and cause more work and stress. However, I have various pictures of my aunt throughout my office, a constant reminder of what drove me to take this job. I am going through my long hours, constant struggles and hours on the road, so that I know, I am making a difference. I am fighting back. I am working hard so that fewer and fewer people have to go through what my aunt did. So less families are missing someone that lost their battle. And so that less people have to hear those three scary words, "You Have Cancer".

She gives me incentive to keep going, she is in the back of my head when I say something stupid, and she is patting my back when I make her proud. Even though she is no longer here.

So Far, So Good

A few days before the New Year, the Corolla and I attempted a quick trip down to Phoenix. J. needed to picked up from the airport and I had the luxury of working from home due to inclimate weather. An hour into my trip I was 20 miles outside of Flagstaff and stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of the blizzard. Apparently the semi ahead of me wasn't aware that one must travel safely in bad weather and decided to jack-knife to make us all enjoy our 7 hour one-on-one time with I-17.

Needless to say Avery, the Corolla and I were not prepared to hangout on the highway in the freezing cold snow. Scared out of my mind I turned my car off to save gas, cleaned off my windows every 30 minutes and charged my phone when the engine was on. Avery had the grueling task of sleeping.

At the end of hour 7 the traffic started to move at the thrilling speed of 10 mph, fine with me. Equipped with my white knuckles, body leaning forward with my eyes on the road and trying not to look at all the cars that had driven into the ditch, I made it to Phoenix in a little over 8 hours. Worst day-time of my life.

Benefit: That evening while tucked safely away at my former UofA Wildcat brothers house, my OSU COWBOYS showed his team what the Alamo bowl is all about.

What a way to end 2010.



2011 on the other hand is decent. The lack of sleep and stress caught up with my New Years eve when I convinced J. to spend the night in....we were asleep at 11:58. (Dont worry I woke up at 12:01 for my first smooch of the New Year.

The only thing exciting in the 4 days of 2011, has been my mothers "29th" birthday. She had a great day and I surprised her with dinner with all her friends and family. I love the feeling of making her happy, seeing her genuine smile is so few and far between. She has proven to me that no matter what happens in your life you can keep your head on strait. Bad luck doesn't always have to make your life horrible.

Here's to 2011...to making other people happy and staying inside during bad snow storms!