Attempting the practice of POSITIVE thinking....

I have noticed that at times I can seem negative...like the majority of my time I focus on what can go wrong. I believe this is partly true...

In my head both the positive and negative are present. They both voice their opinions and are over thought in detail. However, the negative slips out of my mouth for multiple reasons which are not always to be the pessimistic person in the room. I believe these are voiced more often so I can be reassured the negative will not happen.Which is selfish. Also, because if I am aware of all the things that can go wrong, I will not be disappointed when they do.

In no way is this "healthy" and a correct way of thinking, I am aware of that.

That being said I have decided that today I will do a "What I do not like" and "What I love" list in their simplest form. Guess who gets to read it?

To start with the negative and end on a positive note....

What I do not like

Slow technology on a hectic day

Slow days

Large amounts of snow when I have places to go

Peas

Black Licorice

Socks with sandals

Dis-loyalty

Waiting until the last minute

People playing with my toes

3. Certain words

Close minded-ness

Small spaces

Meatloaf

Wearing an outfit I do not feel comfortable in

Changing plans

Putting Laundry away

Forced conversation

WHAT I LOVE

Holding hands

Inspirational moments

A new journal

Homemade gifts

Chocolate

Comfy beds

Things that make me think

Walks in deep thought

Personal meaning

Randomness

Obscene laughter

Big Sunglasses

Kissing

Travel

Memories

Attempting to master the kitchen

Mascara

Talking about the ones I love

Organizing

Someone "tickling" my back

Movies

Two-stepping

Wearing something that makes me feel beautiful

Big hair

Finding security and comfort in a pet

"Just thinking of you"'s

Inside jokes

Reaching a goal

Being so busy I'm stressed

My mom

Someone playing with my hair

....See even in that random 5 minutes I proved that I think more positive...I just need to work on portraying it more.

What do you love?

Thank you mom and dad...

Now that you have read the title of this blog let me assure you, this is completely sarcastic.

Although I am thankful for the things that I am about to complain about, it doesn't mean they couldn't have thrown me up a yield sign every now and then.

Thank you mom and dad....

Without you I wouldn't have made it to college. Not like the option to do anything else after high school was ever there. But never the less my appreciation for the constant drilling of "must receive your education" is still solid. Not only did I attend college I managed to move out of state to do so. helping increase the semesterly bursar bill that haunted me until paid but also allowing me to have no other option but to work and attend school full time. (Ya ya ya....this instilled a good work ethic and responsibility). However I would have been just fine working a few nights and increasing my under/over age alcohol intake. Not saying that I didnt find my time to partake in the traditional Connors backroading or Stillwater "Strip". But the college experience could have been prolonged with skipped classes, sleeping in and the occasional all nighter. Instead the big kid in me was screaming, " get out, MAKE MONEY". Right. So thank you mom and dad for the support and encouragement to end my lazy undergraduate career in 3 1/2years.

Thank you mom and dad for always treating me like the mature child that can handle responsibility. Because of the constant after school activity, jobs and organizations I have been shoved into since the age of 5, I am now unable to be content in life unless I am stressed to the point of breakdown. If the OCD in me doesn't have her "To-Do" list and full calender I cant seem to break a smile. But thank goodness I was able to juggle 4-H, FFA, 2 jobs, clubs in school, friends, family, and worrying about my future. Without that, I might be able to function on a minimal level....who wants relaxation anyway?

Not to be dramatic but the divorce at the age of 14 helped me in my future relationships. So thank you for instilling in me the constant over analyzing of such relationships with friends or possible heart breakers. I am now able to consider the option of insecurity and vulnerability. Not only does this set these "commitments" up for possible failure but it makes sure that I think every detail needs to be spoken outloud and accompanied by mascara covered Kleenex. Gracias.

Also. Thank you mom and dad for allowing me to have things I wanted without the spoiling aspect. Because of your strong will, I am now able to not only sometimes make purchases but also want to make more. Having the knowledge of nice things, style and comfort not only makes me want to have those things but it can bring out the irresponsible debit card complete with its "consequences later" pin number.

I honestly do appreciate the embossed pieces of paper that are currently hanging in my office.Which are at the job that shuts out the possibility of seeing my boyfriend more then once a week. However spending more then half the paycheck from this job on the 3 1/2 years of "hard work in school" makes it difficult to convey my deep appreciation for the values you instilled in me.

So thank you for making me a hard-working,over-thinking,stressed mess of a 24 year old. I really do appreciate it.