Waking up on the right side of Life!

In less then two weeks the new year will begin. 2010 has been packed full of roller coaster adventures. Tears have been shed for relief, happiness and grief.

I started off this year in Hinton, Oklahoma, News Years day I was sobbing over Avery Joe (The fur ball in my life) at the veterinary clinic that stole my bank account. Little did I know that I would be spending the majority of the next 5 months there....but still leaving with my breath of fresh air, Av.

After one failed yet full filling job, I moved BACK to Arizona with nothing but a hope of being closer to family. My Uncle Twain had passed away and it seemed ridicules to be alone in another state while my family struggled to catch their breath.

Two weeks into the unpacking I began my 4 interview process at the American Cancer Society. 5 weeks later I nailed the job and something I wasn't expecting fell into my hands.....Mr. Right.

My scepticism was quickly hushed when I started falling head over heels for my guy and learned a new kind of "Making a difference" with my job. Not only was I blissfully happy, I was content and satisfied. Who woulda thought? After 5 years of saying the last place I would ever find my guy would be in my hometown...there he was. But he had been there all along, all the way from the hallways of my elementary school. Staying in Flagstaff forever, not in the plans...but for now..... I'm ok.

2011 will be more of the same, working at a place that knocks the energy out of me, but gives life meaning. Enjoying the adventures of falling in love and being surrounded by my family to keep my strength going.

With a little patience it can be brilliant.

Today I not only ate bad food, but I found the motivation to get rid of it. Not a complete improvement but its something.

I have discovered that I find inspiration in my creative friends. Life, style, health and all things creative my education taught me. I am not one of those people that can sit down and stir up some great analogies and put them in the correct place in my story. However I AM one that can sit down with a wave of thought, and analyze its grammar and structure later.

I have a friend that is OBSESSED with antiques.She is the master of turning nothing special into something spectacular. Although I am not...I enjoy the browsing, and the discovery of hidden treasures. I even enjoy the revamping of such purchases....if kept to a minimum.

I also have a friend that can throw together a random outfit and rock it in star quality. I am simple and can throw together something decent. But by no means am I a "risk taker" and a "trend starter".

I have a friend that can cook Thai food, another that can whip up something gluten-dairy-wheat free and make it delish, and another that cooks the BEST Texas Sheet Cake EVER. I can cook, I enjoy cooking and most of the time what I create turns out enjoyable. I DO NOT claim to be a Martha Stewart-Betty Crocker hybrid of woman.

I have a friend whose creative writing and design work puts me to shame. She is a natural at making things sounds amazing and look beyond professional. I can write a story... but it will take multiple drafts, I can design a web site/brochure/logo but it will take some time and inspiration. I can catch an amazing photo of perfection in the moment. But that will take 200 + shots of playing with the aperture and focus on my camera.


I can cook amazing healthy food...with motivation. I can exercise and even enjoy it....with motivation. I can not drink a Diet Coke...with STRENGTH.

Point being...I can do a little of everything and with a little patience it can be brilliant.

I have a theory

If you have read the title of the blog then you are aware of today's rant.

I have a theory...

I believe that everything in life stems off of another and eventually comes full circle. Example, I believe that without money I am unable to eat healthy. Without the ability to eat healthy I am having a hard time loosing weight. I am having a hard time loosing weight because I am to damn lazy to stick to a legitimate workout plan. I cant stick to a workout plan because I can find NO motivation in life. I cant find motivation in life due to the constant rejection from every company EVER for employment. I cant find employment because of the economy and my lack of "real world experience". I have no "real world experience" because corporate America is pinching pennies and would rather employ someone with a masters (who woulda thought?). I don't have a masters yet because I have no way of funding the expensive needed piece of paper. And all the sudden were back to how I have no MONEY.

I could take this a step further into my relationships....saying that I believe I haven't found "Happily ever after" because of my weight. The weight that wont come off unless I find motivation, money and the happiness I am searching for. However I honestly am not looking for this yet, it just fits into the equation and can be removed when necessary.

Solution to the theory. SOMEONE hire me, SOMEONE take a chance on me (and be proven right), SOMEONE make it easier for me to complete all the above complaints. Ya, let me throw a penny into that wishing well.


Excuses Excuses. I Know. But honestly the $2.00 box of Top Roman is a lot easier on the unemployed versus the $13.50 box of organic rice pasta and dairy/gluten free sauce......just saying.

This is so not ideal.

A much needed update...

1. Yes I have been neglecting my blog.
2. Yes I have been neglecting my body.
3. Yes I have had sooo many changes in my life.
4. Yes I will try to do better.

So to be perfectly honest I have been avoiding writing my "Healthy" updates. To be even more honest I have been avoiding "Finding the Healthier me" all together. Quick recap. I changed jobs, was underpaid and over worked, quit job. Lost another family member...ran back home to mommies roof and lack of homemade meals. Currently feeling slightly more motivated....slightly. Looking AGAIN for a job, this time in AZ but not in FTown.

So I was at a loss for creativity until the latest Junior college BS gossip reached me. It amazes me how some people live in a box of their own negativity. However, this is neither here nor there. This is my excuse for needing to vent.


So more details. Just like the last family member I lost, this one too was on my moms side of the family. This one too was a younger sibling of hers. This one too we will all miss and have been shaken, yet again.

After my mom called me at work and told me my uncle, Mark Twain Ferguson had passed away it took a good 5 minutes to pull myself out of the Med Room and tell my boss I needed to go home through mascara smeared tears. However once I was in the car, feeling dead inside and still crying I snickered to myself. Yes, snickered. I literally laughed a little bit, then realized how insanely inappropriate this was and laughed some more.

You see, my mind couldn't grasp the thought that things could still get worse. That no matter how bad you think you have it, it could get worse. Seriously whenever we handle something to tragic that we cannot picture there ever being a future, do we honestly picture what else can go wrong? I know that when my aunt passed away I wasn't thinking, "Oh who will die next in my immediate family and scar us even worse." I mean seriously, who writes this shit?

Moving BACK to Arizona gave everyone in my family and the people that know me, an excuse to say "Chelsea WTF". Yes I realize that I bitched and whined to get out of here. But little did I realize that when your not in college, and your not surrounded by your friends in the same situation that things are hard flying solo. Not that I mind living alone, but the job that wouldn't pay my rent, and all the bills, and everything else life demands, wasn't a good enough excuse to stay. Not to mention I moved back to a part of Okla that I didn't even like, to live with someone who slowly drifted away to live her own life. Not Ideal and Not what I pictured.

So another "Chelsea WTF", I also am looking for employment in Prescott, AZ or somewhere down in the Valley....the one town I said I would NEVER live. Life has a way of calling you a hypocrite behind your back.

Love life = Hard to handle.
Health= Slow progression that has been blamed on the lack of income ( in my defense the only food I can afford is what my mom has in the house.)
Money= Working my ASS off to find a job that pays more than my electric bill.
Friends= You know. Ill get back to you on that one.
Family= With age comes wisdom to appreciate these people.


I have literally been on my death bed for two days...ok NOT DEATH BED but it felt that way. Therefor my food intake has been minimal and will hopefully be a turnaround in the "Health" Department soon. Ugh FML. This is so not ideal.

Caught the bug.

I dont even know where to start. It seems I have caught this horrible, hard to cure infectious disease. One that causes me to eat everything I see. I wonder if there is an Eaters Anonymous. I should google it. Working somewhere that has food around all the time might be worse then working in a restaurant. I have already decided that I am made to be a "healthier" girl but not this "healthy".

Depressing. Realizing an addiction and not having the willpower to grab it by the balls and solve it. Like I wish I was allergic to chocolate, I now wish I hated all sweets.

I work with someone that eats nothing while at work. Now I realize this is unhealthy, however I wish I had the "un-want". Ridiculous. Sometimes I wish I didnt have AMAZING ocean blue eyes, just so I would have a higher metabolism and drive to break a sweat. Hey, I can love one thing about myself, in trade for all the things I could change...but dont. Way to go Chelsea.

"Jocking"

Listening to Miley Cyrus ...raining outside...snuggled up to my 14 lb, furry, life support of a pooch. Drinking Chai hot tea and contemplating life...how creative is that??

I went "Jocking" the other day. (The term "jocking" comes from me not being in shape enough to go for a full on, "jog" yet not being stimulated enough by a walk.) So Chelsea goes on "Jocks". Yes I am going to trademark that term. :)
Anyway... so Avery and I are "Jockin" around this local park, complete with adorable duck pond. I'm loosing myself in my latest Itunes download and not paying attention to Avery. Well I feel him tug at my arm and realize, he is in mid-chase of 3 geese and the little 2 year old girl feeding them. Way to go rude "jocker" (me), you just caused a pig tailed, barley stable girl to fall on her butt and start hysterically crying. What else was there for me to do but mouth "sorry" to her frazzled mother, and keep on my pavement path!! Whoops.
Don't worry I kept Av on a close lead while I fast-walked my way back to my car and left ASAP.

Needless to say this didn't encourage me to go back yesterday and "jock" again. Not to be discouraged in the future will be my goal come Monday.

However I have come to realize that food literally controls my life. Its what I think about when I wake up. I spend the mornings waiting for my lunch break and in between my mind is on the vending machine at the other end of my building. How can I control this? Its like the Snickers bar is aware that I have that 85 cents in my purse not being used. Plus some room on the back of my thighs that could use some MORE empty calories.

Having a paycheck is, however encouraging my morning healthy-smoothies. Which is great because there yummy-ness and good-ness is welcomed at 7:30 am on my way to work.

I am joining the local dance place that has a 3-day a week aerobics/adult dance class. I need to actually call and get the information, but the good intention is there. HA.

Other then that, the normal not getting healthier me is there. With the "healthier me" screaming in the back of my head, shes not just a mumble anymore that's for sure!!

Finally I have been given a break!!!!!

Well, things are good.

Its amazing how one thing can go right, then everything seems to fall in place around it. I have found full time employment, of which is not located in a restaurant...wooooopie!

Things that have fallen into place around it....

1. Eating randomly throughout the day has diminished.
2. My realization that I have amazing friends in my life has awakened.
3. I haven't smiled this much, or this big in soooo long.

The only thing this hasn't changed is the physical activity. It is still few and far between.

So my goal tomorrow shall be to do SOMETHING, and break a sweat at it. I shall let you know how this goes.

Getting back in the "groove" of healthy.

Lack of internet is my excuse for my absence. My excuse for dropping the "healthier me"....80% lazy, 20% lack of funding. None of which is a viable reason for my ass getting bigger.

After moving back to the "OK" my mothers healthy food reliablity diminished. Therefor going back to picking up a bag of Oreos while grocery shopping...became easier. Also I just recently have been able to locate a health food store...of which i located about 45 minutes from my place of residence. not ideal.

Being back here means needing to make the tough decisions more often. The temptation of fried chicken, fried vegetables (not healthy, believe it or not) and beer in large quantities is at every corner.

Having said this...I have recently lowered my standards in the employment pull and started working as a server at an Italian restaurant. This SCREAMS back away...number one rule of working anywhere with food, dont like the food you serve , you will eat it.

Setting myself up for failure. Maybe.

I have found a new, healthy side dish. Sweet Potato fries, cooked in EVOO and drizzled with organic grade A Maple syrup. Delish.

Moving back here in the winter has also put a damper on the physical activity. I love my "jocks" (jog/walks) with Avery. But that's weather permitting. So I have started workout dvd's. Can we say cliche? Salsa, line dancing, yoga and pilates in my living room is somehow less motivating. Weird, I know.