Wish You Well

I am having a day of remembrance. I am not sad or depressed rather, I am cherishing moments. This felt like something to share since the following song, currently plays in my office and my lack of motivation for work has me blogging.....:)

A few months before my favorite aunt in the world lost her battle to cancer, a good family friend took my mom and I for a drive down to Sedona, AZ. If you have driven the windy roads down the switchbacks, you know how beautiful and relaxing this can be. It had been a long few months and mom and I were exhausted and blue with the inner struggles of what was ahead of us. Our friend has always been our "door" to amazing new music and she had a song she wanted us to hear. Before she pressed play she warned my mom, "You are going to cry, Christine, but just listen".

Braced for holding back tears, to keep up the appearance of my strength....I closed my eyes and proceeded to hear this through the backseat speakers.

I, I want to wish you well

I didn’t watch you go

Cause I suppose I don’t know how

I, I will remember you

Not the way you left but how you lived

And what you knew

I, I want to feel your hands

I want to feel your fire burning

Right from where I stand

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how
I, I want to know it’s you

When I hear your voice inside my head

Inside my room

I, want to touch the sky

I want to see the stars twinkle

Like they were your eyes

I’ll find my way

You showed me

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how

I, I want to smell your scent

I want to breathe the air I did before

Before you left

I, I want to wish you well

The only reason my heart beats

Is cause you showed it how

I’ll find my way

You show me

I’ll find my way

You show me

I’ll find my way

Cause you showed me how

You show me how

You showed me how

By: Katie Herzig

Some people might find this depressing, however every time I listen to it, it reminds me of how much of a support system she was for me. When we spent hours together at chemo or doctors appointments, she never failed to embaress me, by telling everyone who would listen, "This is my neice, she just graduated college with her bacholers, and she did it in 3 1/2 years." At the time my red face showed how that made me feel. Now it makes me smile and reminds me how you never appreciate the small things, until you no longer have them.

Her way of looking at life wasn't exactly a mirror image of mine. However she never failed to comfort me and pick me up when life wasn't perfect.

She had the luck of constantly receiving "Tomato Ends" in her food. Literally. However when something happened that pissed her off, she would call it a "Tomato End".

So latley...I have been having a lot of Tomato End luck at work. Not necessarly my fault but small things that pile onto eachother and cause more work and stress. However, I have various pictures of my aunt throughout my office, a constant reminder of what drove me to take this job. I am going through my long hours, constant struggles and hours on the road, so that I know, I am making a difference. I am fighting back. I am working hard so that fewer and fewer people have to go through what my aunt did. So less families are missing someone that lost their battle. And so that less people have to hear those three scary words, "You Have Cancer".

She gives me incentive to keep going, she is in the back of my head when I say something stupid, and she is patting my back when I make her proud. Even though she is no longer here.

So Far, So Good

A few days before the New Year, the Corolla and I attempted a quick trip down to Phoenix. J. needed to picked up from the airport and I had the luxury of working from home due to inclimate weather. An hour into my trip I was 20 miles outside of Flagstaff and stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of the blizzard. Apparently the semi ahead of me wasn't aware that one must travel safely in bad weather and decided to jack-knife to make us all enjoy our 7 hour one-on-one time with I-17.

Needless to say Avery, the Corolla and I were not prepared to hangout on the highway in the freezing cold snow. Scared out of my mind I turned my car off to save gas, cleaned off my windows every 30 minutes and charged my phone when the engine was on. Avery had the grueling task of sleeping.

At the end of hour 7 the traffic started to move at the thrilling speed of 10 mph, fine with me. Equipped with my white knuckles, body leaning forward with my eyes on the road and trying not to look at all the cars that had driven into the ditch, I made it to Phoenix in a little over 8 hours. Worst day-time of my life.

Benefit: That evening while tucked safely away at my former UofA Wildcat brothers house, my OSU COWBOYS showed his team what the Alamo bowl is all about.

What a way to end 2010.



2011 on the other hand is decent. The lack of sleep and stress caught up with my New Years eve when I convinced J. to spend the night in....we were asleep at 11:58. (Dont worry I woke up at 12:01 for my first smooch of the New Year.

The only thing exciting in the 4 days of 2011, has been my mothers "29th" birthday. She had a great day and I surprised her with dinner with all her friends and family. I love the feeling of making her happy, seeing her genuine smile is so few and far between. She has proven to me that no matter what happens in your life you can keep your head on strait. Bad luck doesn't always have to make your life horrible.

Here's to 2011...to making other people happy and staying inside during bad snow storms!