If you have read the title of the blog then you are aware of today's rant.
I have a theory...
I believe that everything in life stems off of another and eventually comes full circle. Example, I believe that without money I am unable to eat healthy. Without the ability to eat healthy I am having a hard time loosing weight. I am having a hard time loosing weight because I am to damn lazy to stick to a legitimate workout plan. I cant stick to a workout plan because I can find NO motivation in life. I cant find motivation in life due to the constant rejection from every company EVER for employment. I cant find employment because of the economy and my lack of "real world experience". I have no "real world experience" because corporate America is pinching pennies and would rather employ someone with a masters (who woulda thought?). I don't have a masters yet because I have no way of funding the expensive needed piece of paper. And all the sudden were back to how I have no MONEY.
I could take this a step further into my relationships....saying that I believe I haven't found "Happily ever after" because of my weight. The weight that wont come off unless I find motivation, money and the happiness I am searching for. However I honestly am not looking for this yet, it just fits into the equation and can be removed when necessary.
Solution to the theory. SOMEONE hire me, SOMEONE take a chance on me (and be proven right), SOMEONE make it easier for me to complete all the above complaints. Ya, let me throw a penny into that wishing well.
Excuses Excuses. I Know. But honestly the $2.00 box of Top Roman is a lot easier on the unemployed versus the $13.50 box of organic rice pasta and dairy/gluten free sauce......just saying.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
This is so not ideal.
A much needed update...
1. Yes I have been neglecting my blog.
2. Yes I have been neglecting my body.
3. Yes I have had sooo many changes in my life.
4. Yes I will try to do better.
So to be perfectly honest I have been avoiding writing my "Healthy" updates. To be even more honest I have been avoiding "Finding the Healthier me" all together. Quick recap. I changed jobs, was underpaid and over worked, quit job. Lost another family member...ran back home to mommies roof and lack of homemade meals. Currently feeling slightly more motivated....slightly. Looking AGAIN for a job, this time in AZ but not in FTown.
So I was at a loss for creativity until the latest Junior college BS gossip reached me. It amazes me how some people live in a box of their own negativity. However, this is neither here nor there. This is my excuse for needing to vent.
So more details. Just like the last family member I lost, this one too was on my moms side of the family. This one too was a younger sibling of hers. This one too we will all miss and have been shaken, yet again.
After my mom called me at work and told me my uncle, Mark Twain Ferguson had passed away it took a good 5 minutes to pull myself out of the Med Room and tell my boss I needed to go home through mascara smeared tears. However once I was in the car, feeling dead inside and still crying I snickered to myself. Yes, snickered. I literally laughed a little bit, then realized how insanely inappropriate this was and laughed some more.
You see, my mind couldn't grasp the thought that things could still get worse. That no matter how bad you think you have it, it could get worse. Seriously whenever we handle something to tragic that we cannot picture there ever being a future, do we honestly picture what else can go wrong? I know that when my aunt passed away I wasn't thinking, "Oh who will die next in my immediate family and scar us even worse." I mean seriously, who writes this shit?
Moving BACK to Arizona gave everyone in my family and the people that know me, an excuse to say "Chelsea WTF". Yes I realize that I bitched and whined to get out of here. But little did I realize that when your not in college, and your not surrounded by your friends in the same situation that things are hard flying solo. Not that I mind living alone, but the job that wouldn't pay my rent, and all the bills, and everything else life demands, wasn't a good enough excuse to stay. Not to mention I moved back to a part of Okla that I didn't even like, to live with someone who slowly drifted away to live her own life. Not Ideal and Not what I pictured.
So another "Chelsea WTF", I also am looking for employment in Prescott, AZ or somewhere down in the Valley....the one town I said I would NEVER live. Life has a way of calling you a hypocrite behind your back.
Love life = Hard to handle.
Health= Slow progression that has been blamed on the lack of income ( in my defense the only food I can afford is what my mom has in the house.)
Money= Working my ASS off to find a job that pays more than my electric bill.
Friends= You know. Ill get back to you on that one.
Family= With age comes wisdom to appreciate these people.
I have literally been on my death bed for two days...ok NOT DEATH BED but it felt that way. Therefor my food intake has been minimal and will hopefully be a turnaround in the "Health" Department soon. Ugh FML. This is so not ideal.
1. Yes I have been neglecting my blog.
2. Yes I have been neglecting my body.
3. Yes I have had sooo many changes in my life.
4. Yes I will try to do better.
So to be perfectly honest I have been avoiding writing my "Healthy" updates. To be even more honest I have been avoiding "Finding the Healthier me" all together. Quick recap. I changed jobs, was underpaid and over worked, quit job. Lost another family member...ran back home to mommies roof and lack of homemade meals. Currently feeling slightly more motivated....slightly. Looking AGAIN for a job, this time in AZ but not in FTown.
So I was at a loss for creativity until the latest Junior college BS gossip reached me. It amazes me how some people live in a box of their own negativity. However, this is neither here nor there. This is my excuse for needing to vent.
So more details. Just like the last family member I lost, this one too was on my moms side of the family. This one too was a younger sibling of hers. This one too we will all miss and have been shaken, yet again.
After my mom called me at work and told me my uncle, Mark Twain Ferguson had passed away it took a good 5 minutes to pull myself out of the Med Room and tell my boss I needed to go home through mascara smeared tears. However once I was in the car, feeling dead inside and still crying I snickered to myself. Yes, snickered. I literally laughed a little bit, then realized how insanely inappropriate this was and laughed some more.
You see, my mind couldn't grasp the thought that things could still get worse. That no matter how bad you think you have it, it could get worse. Seriously whenever we handle something to tragic that we cannot picture there ever being a future, do we honestly picture what else can go wrong? I know that when my aunt passed away I wasn't thinking, "Oh who will die next in my immediate family and scar us even worse." I mean seriously, who writes this shit?
Moving BACK to Arizona gave everyone in my family and the people that know me, an excuse to say "Chelsea WTF". Yes I realize that I bitched and whined to get out of here. But little did I realize that when your not in college, and your not surrounded by your friends in the same situation that things are hard flying solo. Not that I mind living alone, but the job that wouldn't pay my rent, and all the bills, and everything else life demands, wasn't a good enough excuse to stay. Not to mention I moved back to a part of Okla that I didn't even like, to live with someone who slowly drifted away to live her own life. Not Ideal and Not what I pictured.
So another "Chelsea WTF", I also am looking for employment in Prescott, AZ or somewhere down in the Valley....the one town I said I would NEVER live. Life has a way of calling you a hypocrite behind your back.
Love life = Hard to handle.
Health= Slow progression that has been blamed on the lack of income ( in my defense the only food I can afford is what my mom has in the house.)
Money= Working my ASS off to find a job that pays more than my electric bill.
Friends= You know. Ill get back to you on that one.
Family= With age comes wisdom to appreciate these people.
I have literally been on my death bed for two days...ok NOT DEATH BED but it felt that way. Therefor my food intake has been minimal and will hopefully be a turnaround in the "Health" Department soon. Ugh FML. This is so not ideal.
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